I wanted to try something new and write a blog each day for the month of April of people I have met. new days. new stories. all different stories, but all having one common theme: Jesus. I wanted you guys- my supporters to be apart of how God has moved and continues to move in my life. I am already struggling with April 1st- I had a lovely day, but I don’t really know what to say …
Today, I pulled out all my journals from when I lived overseas for a year. Man did I pray some scary and fearless prayers :] On 9/16/10 I wrote:
“God, today is all about being messy. Jack me up! Break me. Take all the stuff I’ve dressed up and tried to hide and strip me bare. Only you and me. Here we go…”
I wish I could say I pray prayers like that everyday, but that would be a lie. He has definitely answered that prayer though. I have been in a very broken state lately: a state of confusion, frustration and loneliness to name a few, but also of joy and being stretched- if that makes any sense. I went to a worship night yesterday and at one point during a song I had my hands out palms wide open and all I could think was “God take whatever is still in my hands away from me.” I felt my grip release and then my hands slowly fold back up as if someone was physically there closing them for me. As if Jesus was there Himself pressing my fingers to my palms, telling me everything was going to be OKAY, that God had me no matter what.
Over the past few weeks I’ve learned that true healing comes from being in God’s presence. That I am His beloved and precious daughter, chosen by Him. That His word is living and active, it is like rain hitting the earth- it has an effect on absolutely everything it touches. God’s truth is bigger than who we think He is or can even imagine and so I can honestly say I believe despite our pain God IS good.
I had a good friend once tell me that we need to be walking with God and not walking hoping He will meet us where we are at- so what are we waiting for? Join me in these truths. Join me in loving others. despite our past. despite our pain. despite our own troubles. It is impossible to love as Christ loves us and not to suffer as a result. Join me in bringing heaven down to earth!
JOIN ME in fearlessly engaging in a world in which love is so fearfully exchanged. God it totally worth is.
because One day…
When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful Jesus!!!