Right now I am sitting here with my belly full of my gma’s yummy cooking, sore legs from running 3 miles yesterday and my chitten curled up next to me. life is good.
Instead of chickens in the background like in Espana there is the neighbors husky who howls like a wolf constantly. And every time he does Abbey growls… due to the fact that he chased her up a tree for a very rough two days. So I don’t blame her.
I’m getting sidetracked.
So lately I have realized I stink at receiving love.
I love giving it. I could give love all day every day. especially to animals. Not to be weird and pull my cats into the equation, but yeah I’m going there…
so Abbey and Izzie are two very different cats. Abbey (the white and black one below) is my southern belle. She literally follows me everywhere- she is my shadow. Sometimes I have to push her away, like when she follows me into the shower… haha but she has absolutely no trouble receiving my love. That’s all she does is eat. sleep. play outside and follow me so I will pet her 24/7. Izzie on the other hand could care less. She is what I like to call my gansta cat. She wants my love, but she is so hard headed. She doesn’t ever come to me- she acts like she’s too good. BUT then when I do finally force her to let me pet her she loooves it. she purposely will sit just a tad too far out of my reach so I have to move towards her to pet her. It’s like she forgets how much she loves the attention- silly gato! but I equally love ’em both.
okay okay, what does this have to do with people? bear with me.
When I had a good friend call me the other day because she was struggling receiving a gift from someone close to her at first I thought “Uh OH, I have nothing to say…” Then it was funny because I realized in processing her through what she was going through I was doing the same. I had literally JUST had a conversation with one of my old roomies in Spain about how I don’t know how to receive love.
I feel guilty, get overwhelmed and I just don’t like it so I try and do everything to hide from it. But you see the Lord has distinctively placed people in my life who have chased me, hunted me down and fought for me. So I couldn’t escape His love from them even if I tried. I especially realized this about myself when I came home from Spain for my Father’s funeral. Man did the love overflow!
The way I have conditioned myself is being broken down. I have been learning to just say thank you. To trust that the Lord would never sell us short. He has even more sweeter things for us than we could ever imagine. That everything He gives us we don’t deserve, but yet He does it out of love. That how are we to know how to give love if we don’t know how to receive it???
Do we have to be perfect at it? heck no. you think I like asking supporters for money again and again- nope. But I also know what the Lord has called me to. To be a lover.
So lets all be love DO ers. We start each day with a whole new energy tank of His love, brand spanking new. Andrew always says to us we can have the whole pie if we want… well “God’s goodness is not some pie with only so many slices… A piece of inheritance today does not leave us hungry tomorrow.“ God doesn’t work like that. and either does Abbey hehe.
It is our choice. Are we going to receive His love or are we going to fight against His love? Yes, it will be overwhelming at times. But being overwhelmed isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As my dear friend recently reminded me, being overwhelmed by the Lord only means that there is an abundance : )